Painful Memories
by merdarkandtwisty
Summary: After losing his mother during child birth William Darcy feels lost his father doesn't say much and his sister blames herself. What about the new baby what is to become of him in this house of Sadness? Elizabeth Bennet is the daughter of a gentleman who is in reduced circumstances after her father's death and happy to take the position of Nanny for the Darcy's.


I don't own Pride and prejudice

Hard sleet beat down on the Derbyshire landscape. The outside world mirrored the turmoil that raged inside Fitzwilliam Darcy. He watched the casket being lowered into the hard packed ground. The body of Anne Eloise Metlock Darcy going to her final resting place. The words of the pastor sounded like a buzzing in his ears. He wasn't taking any of the words in. No all he thought of was the blood all that blood. He looked over at his father huddled under his jacket not making eye contact with anyone.

He glanced over at his sister Georgiana was huddled by his side, her blond hair plastered to her face. The rain mixing with her tears.

"It's ok Georgie." He whispered wrapping her in his arms.

"No its not." She shook her head. "I killed her, I killed our mother with my foolishness."

"You did no such thing." Darcy kept his voice low so as not to be over heard by the other's gathered around the grave site.

"Yes I did If I hadn't tried to run away with Whickham if I hadn't been a foolish child who thought she knew best mother wouldn't have went into labor so early and wouldn't have died giving birth to our brother.

Darcy cringed thinking about that brother now laying in the nursery, still unnamed their father not even able to look at the child. He pulled his sister close and whispered. "It's not your fault. Mother was told not to have any more kids she disregarded what the Doctor said and had him anyway. She gave her life for him. She wouldn't regret it." Darcy tried to sooth his baby sister.

Darcy knew his mother would have wanted to give her life for the child but that didn't mean he wasn't upset with her. He remember when Georgiana was born and how they'd almost lost her then. When he'd found out she was pregnant again he'd cringed even as he fixed a smile on his face and congratulated his parents. He knew it wouldn't end well. The blood all that blood its all he could remember the screams and the blood the Doctor had been covered in it when delivered the news of Lady Anne's death.

The rain continued to drizzle down on them. Finally the pastor finished his sermon and the mourners moved towards the house and the repast that Mrs. Reynolds had laid out for them. "Come now go to Richard." Darcy steered Georgiana towards their cousin. Then walked over the sodden ground towards his father. "Father." He laid his hand on his shoulder. "Let's get inside." Barely looking at his son George Darcy nodded his head down he walked towards Pemberly not knowing what how he'd survive without his wife. How he'd handle his two youngest children on without even having a name.

Darcy made sure his father was comfortable front of the fire before heading towards the nursery he caught sight of Georgiana in a corner talking with Richard as he walked up the marble steps. Heading towards the nursery he pushed the door open and seeing Mrs. Reynolds inside gave her a brief smile. "How is he?"

"As well as can be expected Master William." The old House keeper gave a tired smile. "I've hired a girl from London to come and care from him we can't really spare anyone here now and this young lady was raised a gentleman's daughter and is looking for a situation now that her father is gone and the estate he owned was entailed away to a cousin. She has great references and the aunt she's been staying with is originally from Lambton. I knew her when she was a young girl."

"Very well" Darcy nodded walking closer to the cradle and peering inside it. "You may go see to the guest. If anyone asks I'm indisposed at the moment."

"Of course Master William." As he heard her retreating down the hall he gently lifted the tiny babe from his nest of blankets and held him gently in his arms going towards the rocking chair and sitting down. Making sure he was secure he looked down at his tiny features.

"You need a name." he whispered running his finger down the downy cheek. He tried to think if his mother had mentioned any names during her confinement. He remembered her saying something about the name Adelaide if it was a girl but that certainly wouldn't work. "Well Richard George and Fitzwilliam are out so who should you be?"

"She wanted to name him Henry." William looked up to see his father standing in the doorway.

"Then Henry it shell be what about a middle name?"

"Henry Oliver Darcy." George suggested.

"A strong name for a strong boy." Darcy nodded standing up and handing the baby over to his father. "I'll be down stairs, Has Mrs. Reynolds told you of the new Nanny she hired."

"Yes." George said not taking his eyes off his newest son.

"Good hopefully the girl will be here soon. " Darcy left the room looking back to see his father cradling Henry close.

In a house in London's Grace church street a young woman was frantically packing her belongings. Trying to ignore her mother. "But Elizabeth this is far beneath you."

"Mother It is not beneath me. Its honest work for honest pay and the Darcy's are a well respected family. Aunt Gardiner was nice enough to secure this position for me and I'm talking it. It will be one less mouth for the Gardiner's to feed."

"You're a Gentleman's daughter." Mrs. Bennet protested.

"A Gentleman's daughter with a thousand pound dowry no house and no prospects mother please you know I must do this." Elizabeth pleaded with her mother.

"I don't like it."

"You don't have to but you must accept it."

"Lizzie I thought you'd like this I had some material left over so I thought I'd make it for you." Jane came sweeping into the room holding out a light blue bonnet. "I've heard the spring in Derbyshire is lovely."

"Hopefully you can visit me when the Gardiner's go to Lambton next."

"Of course." Jane nodded. "Oh Lizzie I'll miss you so."

"And I'll miss you to dear Jane." Lizzie hugged her sister.

"Lizzie the carriage is here." Mrs. Gardiner said coming into the room.

"Thank you Aunt if you can have Lows grab my trunk."

"Of course." Mrs. Gardiner called for the footman to convey Elizabeth's belongings as she stepped into the carriage and waved goodbye to her mother aunt uncle and sisters she felt like she was stepping into a new beginning well in Derbyshire William Darcy felt like he was ending a chapter in his life and stepping towards darkness.

A/N so yet another story yes I know I'm crazy.


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